“Yo, what’s up?”
During his first few weeks in the States, Chinese international student Wei Hu’s head swirled with question marks every time someone greeted him and held their hands up. He said, “What do they mean by ‘dap me up?’ I was really confused.” I, also an international student from China, find this culture shock highly relatable. How should I respond to ‘what’s up?’ Nothing is up!
In much of Western culture, including all English and Spanish-speaking countries, small talk is a regular routine. Refer to conversations that establish a mood of sociability instead of communicating information or ideas. It can fill in “awkward” silences, promote warmth and plow the soil so meaningful conversations might sprout.
However, there are cultures without small talk, for instance, in Nordic countries and East Asia, how do people greet each other?
Hu explains that in China greetings are: a simple‘Hi’ between friends. There’s no greeting waiters, or asking about the cashier’s day. Hu said, “In China, people are less inclined to express their emotions, especially in public with people you’re not familiar with.”
Although it might seem impolite and frigid to many outsiders—this summer in Shanghai, China, a foreigner berated the rude nature of Chinese people to me—I believe it is just a difference in the societal atmosphere.
In America, every interaction reassures friendliness and positivity. Social warmth is guaranteed when small talk is present. In China, the default interpersonal tension is not attractive, but rather neutral. Silence is not viewed as awkward, disregard is not interpreted as disrespect. There is just no need to interact with people constantly. For many introverted people, the neutral atmosphere in Chinese socialization is instead more comfortable and serene. I personally prefer the absence of small talk, since it makes all communications more efficient and whole-hearted.
On the other hand, after experiencing both cultures, Hu expressed fondness for the small-talk culture. “You can really feel the energy of other people, whether they actually mean it or not. I think it sets a really good environment,” he said.
The ways of communication across the world are different, and they each carry their own advantages and disadvantages. Talking to diverse people around the world, do not let the silent absence of small talk or the overly friendly “wassup” freeze you, because respect and kindness are transnational and transcultural.
